After 9/11, I rejoined the Army National Guard as the Marines said I was too old for the infantry.  However, The National Guard said welcome aboard.  I was a leader in both the Marines and National Guard, and I loved the challenge of leading.    

In getting ready for another deployment, this time to Afghanistan, I was in training when I was injured.  I broke my back and herniated four disks.  For over a year, I was in a wheelchair.  So I either laid in bed or was in that wheelchair staring at walls.  My mind ran away from me, and PTSD hit me like a freight train. All I did was sit and think.  I could remember everything terrible that ever happened to me in the Marines, losing a son to an MVA (drunk driver).  The National Guard, the FEMA deployments, and, of course, over 20 years working as an FF/Paramedic, all in minut detail.  I was hurt in June of 2007, In September of 2007.  I wanted out due to the mental pain and anguish, so I took a pistol and wheeled myself out into the driveway and was going to end it.  But God had other plans for me and sent my 12-year-old daughter out to ask me if I was ok.  I said I wasn't, and she climbed into my lap, took the gun out of my hands, and held me while I balled for a very long time. 

The next day, my wife brought me to the VA PTSD clinic, and a lady named Sue, who was a God send, got me in to see a counselor, a real Trauma counselor, that very day.  That's where my journey restarted for healing, between Groups, individual counseling, and a stint as an in-patient at the PTSD center for nine weeks.  I started to heal, I was given tools on my tool belt to heal and to use as I needed them.  In 2008, probably in November, I took my first steps again thanks to a very dedicated VA PT employee named Rob.  And it was all uphill from there till I could walk with the aid of a walker, and then finally graduating to a Canadian crutch, 12 surgeries, and one pain pump later in 2020; I am on ZERO fentanyl patches or any kind of oral medication for pain.  I have a pain pump that is under my skin in a muscle pocket on the right side of my stomach area.  I got 3 MG in a 24-hour time period, and now I can walk without any aid from a Canadian crutch.  I go on walks with my daughter now; thank you, heavenly Father.

It was in 2011 that I started to help other disabled vets and with the help of a gentleman, Peter, who had a ministry for disabled vets, Warrior House of Western NY.  I worked my way up to director of operations, and it became a one-stop shop for Veterans.  Whatever that Veteran called for help with or with any issue at all, either we with our resources or the help of other nonprofits in western NY, found a solution for that Veteran and solved the issue, anything from taking them to rehab to getting them firewood, you name it or think of it we did it.  

In 2020, I retired from that ministry due to covid, and then I realized that first responders back in Genesee County, NY, like myself at the city FD, did not have aanyone to go to except to sit in a big circle with a paid counselor  who had 20 minutes for us and say tell me about your feelings.  You have a room full of John Waynes, They are not going to chat it up.  I believe it was the way it was presented, which is why we did not talk at all.  They weren't peers; they had no firefighter training and never risked their lives doing anything.  That's the main reason we said nothing.  They didn't know us or about us or our culture in this brotherhood.    

I came to this conclusion after reading "The Rescuer" by Jason Sautel.  His life mirrored mine, I might add.  So It just blasted me to the point that I said I need to do this as a ministry.  So, I went back to school with IFOC and Christian Leaders College.  I became an ordained licensed Chaplain.  I am now currently Oakfield Fire Dept, Chaplain and when other first responders in Genesee County find me,  I can talk to them now even easier than I could before; I peer council them as a Chaplain, show them the tools that will help like hournaling, breathing excercises, Mindfulness, mediatation, ACT, and get them any outside resources and refer them to a higher level of care if they need it. 

I did graduate from Light University as a Mental Health Coach in Biblical counseling covering Grief and Trauma as a professional life coach; as a Chaplain, I don't bring up Religion till the client does. Then the book is open, so to speak, and it's game on.  I have a hundred ideas on how to do this ministry and how to help the client in many ways that are available.  I furthered my education and went to the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, ICISF for group and individual Critical Incident Stress Management.  I took the test at the University of Maryland and was certified in Critical Incident Stress Management.  So it was then I rejoined the Academy,  Getting more certifications this time.  Not to collect certs but to know exactly what I am involved in so I do not retraumatize a client or do harm.  I feel the more schooling and CEs I can get, the better I can help the client in trying to help them on the road to heal or at least manage the symptoms of acute stress, anxiety, depression, or PTSD.   

I also joined the CISM team in Erie County or Buffalo, NY, as a CISD Chaplain team member.  We serve a seven county area in Western NY.  I am also involved with the American Red Cross and deploy to disasters throughout the US and internationally as a Crisis Chaplain, IE: Tenn. for tornado with 54 fatalities, Oregon and California for wild fires.  Florida, Georgia for hurricanes, Western NY Chaplain supervisor for the 2022 blizzard with 63 fatalities. and to serve neighborhoods of the affected areas or to be on the Integrated Care and Condolence Team member and to deal with and Coach the survivors of a fatality in the disaster zone,  I go with a nurse I do the trauma coaching while the Nurse gets the survuivors next of kin money to bury the dead.  I am involved in the dementia ward at Premiere Health, an assisted living home in Batavia, NY, and lastly, I help hospice at Cross Roads House, also in Batavia, NY.  My ministries are coming alive with the help Of our Lord Jesus Christ, and he is using me in amazing ways as a servant of God and putting me right where I need to be when I need to be there.  I am just his vessel to be used where he needs me, he gave me this gift in whiich I am still pursuing college for an MA in counseling.     

Thank you all for letting me tell my story.  I see great things on the horizon with God's guidance, and he gets all the glory. I am just a vehicle to help those in need.  I pray daily that and give thanks that I am a survior of complex trauma and now have tools to show others how to get out of that tunnel.  With the Academy's help, classes at school. ( I am 54 years old and still in school again) However, I am more able to accomplish this mission with these areas the schools serve.  

Please, all of you, be safe, and God bless!

ED